Certified Best Friend Part I A

I’m sure you have a best friend, but have you been certified in your own level of friendship?

After reading the upcoming blog posts on the topic I will hereby certify you as best friend material!

Ok, I’m only joking, but if you apply the following practices I’m certain you will increase the level of intimacy/closeness in your inner circle relationships.

The first ability of a certified best friend is to:

A) be able to set aside your own agenda, and 

B) listen to the person you care for. 

Project Free Love

Setting aside your own agenda is an important precursor for your ability to listen.

The people I have felt loved by the most in life never had an agenda when we spent time together, they were consistently 100% in tune with my concerns, my ideas, and my desires.  

They didn’t necessarily allow me to behave or even think in the way I desired, but they were able to lay aside their own beliefs, thoughts, and concerns to meet me where I was.  

We have a saying where I work that says, “people aren’t projects, people are potential best friends”.

This can be extremely hard to follow, especially for those who are in ministry or play some level of role-model in someone’s life.

Becoming overly concerned with who we are intending to love can limit our influence we have in their lives.

Having this “people are projects” attitude slowly but certainly gravitates towards a performance based love and performance based relationship.  

There must be a balance between treating everyone as a potential best friend and using wisdom with whom we spend our efforts raising up. 

Raising people up should never be the foundation of the relationship.

Love should always precede expectations.  

The difference between paying a life coach and discipleship/friendship is the love factor. 

Specifically the unfailing love factor(1 Corinthians 13:8). 

If you feel your relationships in life are lacking intimacy or closeness, a simple way to become closer with a friend/loved one is to drop the expectations you have placed on them. 

Tomorrow, I’ll share more about the other half of the first ability behind becoming a certified best friend, how to listen.